Have you ever watched a child chase a cat? What happens when the child is running after the cat?
The cat runs as fast as it can. Once the child gives in and sits still in wonderment about “why can’t I get the cat,”…Then what happens?
You guessed it! The cat comes a sniffing. How can our relationships be likened to this situation? Can you think of a time when you may have been chasing someone and the harder you try the farther they get away from you? But once we STEP BACK, then they come ‘sniffing’ around to see why we have been ignoring them?
Many times I have heard this happen to people that are in a situation where they are just trying to get the person to notice them because they would like to date them. But we could apply this same theory to family #estrangement.
Either side of the situation whether you are one who has chosen to be estranged or you are one who has had others cut off contact with you, both parties have control on how to react to the situation.
The harder we push, the farther the situation gets away from us. How about we look at it with a different perspective?
“Even in this, where is the GRACE?”
-Mastin Kipp
In actuality, the quality of our life is based on the quality of questions we ask. Instead of chasing answers for questions like “how could you?” or “why don’t you…?” How about we search for answers from within our self?
What is this feeling of GUILT?
Guilt is based on an action we did OR an action they took that we believe was a response to our behaviors.
Where did the feeling of SHAME come from?
Shame is when we make guilt our identity. (Often, it is masked)
Why do I HOLD ON to these feelings?
We hold on the guilt/shame in order to survive through the atrocities we have suffered. We think if we let go of the guilt/shame then we are accepting what they did. Instead we need to release the hurt and resentment. Release this pain by forgiving. Forgiving our self from holding on to it for so long. Releasing the pain does not mean everything that happened is okay. Instead it frees us to live in our truth and demonstrate true self-compassion.
How can I demonstrate COURAGE?
It takes courage for us to reveal the truth to our self. Once we receive our ‘aha’ moment and put this awareness into action, this is called COURAGEOUS ACTION!
This is where EFT comes into play. By utilizing this powerful tool, we are putting courageous action to work for our benefit. For more information on EFT please check out the EFT page by clicking: CLICK HERE
Where in your life can you find grace and stop chasing the proverbial cat’s tail? I welcome your stories below.
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
That’s what i did yesterday courageous action! Moving in the truth. Now i am reading it, how perfect. Thanks for our session yesterday Elda.
You are so insightful, caring, a skilled practitioner who knows her craft and shares her gifts with those around her. Thank You!!
Great article
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Lori! Congratulations on your courageous action. Thank you for your kind words. It is always a pleasure for me to work with you.
This is a very timely post for me today as I wrestle with a situation internally. I am ready to release it and these questions are helpful reminders. Thank you.
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I am happy to hear that you find these questions useful Michelle. I truly enjoy it when you drop by and comment!
I like your take on this Elda, and I am particularly struck by “In actuality, the quality of our life is based on the quality of questions we ask.”
I think this is very true – that we are always the lens through which we see and we always have the power to shift our focus. Sometimes that’s not an easy thing to accept – it can be more appealing to turn the responsibility over to someone else, but in the end it is up to us to know ourselves as sovereign creators.
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I am so glad you got that point Deborah. It really does change our perspective once we change the questions. Better quality, everyone wants that! Thanks so much for visiting.
Thank you, Elda, for this great post – this really helps keep the situation I am going through right now in perspective.
Welcome, Rebecca! Glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for your comment.
I’ll admit that I tend to look for validation from the people in my life. I probably rely too heavily on others’ approval for my sense of self-worth. This analogy resonates with me – the more I chase that approval from others, the more I feel inadequate when it doesn’t necessarily come when I need it. That’s where the message of EFT is helpful to me – “I love and deeply accept myself.” When you nourish that wellspring of love and acceptance in yourself, you stop searching for it from others and you become a far more powerful source of light in the world! I’m always working on it, but EFT has helped me.
How interesting that you were able to connect this post with validation and how it relates with ‘chasing the cat’s tail’! You are so right about this Sonia. We have all been at that place at one time or another. It’s great when we are able to achieve self-awareness and turn that around. THANK YOU SO MUCH for joining us here!
I think that forgiveness needs to be better understood by the general public – true forgiveness, not the wishy-washy kind where people cross their fingers behind their backs and speak of forgiveness and then act otherwise.
When you truly forgive someone, you let it go. Forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning the actions. It is a letting go in order to free YOURSELF from the pain of holding on. It is the act of allowing others to make mistakes and giving them the space to claim their mistakes for themselves instead of holding their mistakes over them and making them pay you for them in guilt credit.
Thanks for helping to educate and remind people about this. I think it is very important.
Thank you for delving deeper into the act of forgiveness Amy. I appreciate your well thought out comment. “It is letting go in order to free YOURSELF from the pain of holding on.” That is the exact point I was trying to make. Thank you for sharing it so eloquently.
I love the story about the cat. It’s all about letting go, isn’t it? The tighter I clutch my cat to me, the more she struggles to get away. Cats are such independent creatures. I have learned to let Sophie come to me on her terms. And of course this is a great metaphor for a lot of things in life. In letting go of what we so desire it often comes to us. Thanks for this thought provoking post Elda!
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Awwww….. thank you for sharing your story of Sophie! Isn’t it funny how that experience can be a metaphor as you stated? ‘Letting go’ seems to be a topic that keeps surfacing over and over. Thanks for visiting Nancy!