Have you ever been so excited for an event just to have it not transpire as you had hoped for? This happened to me recently and I learned to let it flow; let it flow; let it flow.
Spread like wildfire!
I had signed up for an event that I had been so inspired to attend that I even encouraged several of my friends to join me. I spread the word like ‘wildfire’!
When the time came, due to unforeseen circumstances on my part, the day started off NOT AT ALL as I had planned. I was crushed.
Upon arriving, I put on my smile on my face and acted like everything was okay. Soon afterwards, I found a quiet spot and started writing. “I feel so sad…” I kept writing as my eyes started to fill up with tears. I then let the tears flow.
Soldier on?
I was sad. REALLY… sad. So why was I trying to pretend I wasn’t?
When we begin to feel an emotion, do we allow it to flow through us or do we soldier on and pretend everything’s okay?
Once I allowed my tears to flow, my emotion shifted from sadness to disappointment in myself. Because of my own personal choices (that most people don’t comprehend), I ended up in this situation.
“Emotions flow in and out. They don’t define us.”
What am I to learn from this situation?
When things happen that are not desirable to me, I ask myself, “What am I to learn from this situation?
One of the biggest lessons I have learned on my healing journey is that it’s okay to cry. I used to be a person that did my best to hold my emotions in – even in private.
By allowing myself to ‘be in the moment’ and not try to mask what I am feeling helps me process it all and move through it so much faster.
Sure, sometimes our emotions shift from one to another – just like mine did from sadness to disappointment however, it’s FLOWING through us and that is what matters.
90 seconds
Remember, emotions last 90 seconds. Let them flow. Don’t hold back because then they get stuck in our body. Holding them hinders us in many ways both physically and in our mind.
Find a quiet, private place to cry for 90 seconds. Or if you’re angry hit a pillow until you get it out of you or even stick your head in the freezer and scream. If you’re at a lake or river, throw some rocks into the river.
Whatever emotion you’re feeling, it’s important to let it flow. Do you remember the last time you tried to hold in an emotion? How did it feel to suppress it? What are your tips to release emotions? Please share in the comments below.
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
That seems like a healthy way to be. Sorry that the event didn’t turn out the way you’d liked. Perhaps part of your sadness was that you were worried about letting your friends down? I suppose you could always ask for your money back!
I agree with you about the 90 second thing, but its easier to remember that when you are NOT in the middle of an emotional crisis, huh? Good thing to keep in mind!
It was sadness because I was embarrassed. I don’t care to be the center of attention and I happened to put myself in this position for a moment.
Actually, because I allowed myself to FEEL it let the emotion move through me (just like BingBong did in the movie ‘Inside Out’), I was able to enjoy the rest of the event. It was FABULOUS!!
Thanks so much for your comment, Amy! 🙂
What a wonderful example Elda of honoring your emotion as simply as signpost, that allows you to gather information and then move on from.
I’m delighted to hear you then went on and enjoyed the event – perfect!
A ‘signpost’….I like that thought. Thanks, Deborah!
Good post – I had never thought about emotions lasting no longer than 90 seconds – they sure seem longer. You set a good example in the post – we all need to let them happen. Sometimes we all need a good cry. To get frustrations out – I find hammering helpful! I always want to build something – so at least I’m constructive!
Studies have shown that emotions have a duration of 90 seconds. After that, we choose to stay in that emotion or move on to another emotion or free it all together.
Hammering to construction…what a creative outlet for emotions, Vickie. AWESOME!!!
Couldn’t agree with you more, Elda! Love your suggestions on what to do in the 90 seconds of being in the emotion. Great wisdom! Thanks!
Thanks for the visit, Mary!
I love the illustration of the flowing water faucet! It signifies passionate release, as well as the ability to determine when to taper it off. You have really taught me to live through the emotion, face it and embrace it and let it go.
Thank you so much for your comment, Jolie.
I appreciate you!
Elda what a great blog! I didn’t know about the 90 seconds and I enjoyed reading your suggestions. Thank you for your wisdom!
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My pleasure, Connie! Thank you for the visit.
A lovely and honest post. Thank you for sharing. #LetItFlow
Thanks for the visit, Palma!
I didn’t know that about emotions lasting 90 seconds. That’s so interesting. I think letting them flow is the healthiest option, though I agree that sometimes they don’t come at good times!
Studies have shown the duration of emotions is 90 seconds and after that it is a choice we make to continue with that particular emotion or let it pass through us.
Our emotions are there to guide us so it may not feel like a ‘good’ time however it all works out for some reason or another. Thank you for your interest, Naomi!
Such worthy advice, Elda. I recently had to say goodbye to my niece at the airport. When I was younger I would have soldiered through with a “tough upper lip” but now I don’t. I was sad to say goodbye to her and I let her see the tears. I think it was important for her to see that I was sad. They didn’t last long but she knew.
What a great point, Kelly. Other people are affected by outward display of emotion because they can see and feel that we care. THANKS so much for sharing your experience!