How many times have you experienced a sad moment and you are quickly shut down by someone telling you or implying in one form or another, “Be Strong. Don’t cry about it!” ANYTHING to avoid allowing any emotion to be shared.
Think about it. Many times people reach for a tissue to hand to someone that is tearing up as a signal that it’s time to ‘wipe those tears away’. Or a child skins their knee and the first words uttered are, “Don’t cry. Everything is okay!”
I finally went to see the movie that so many people are talking about right now, Inside Out. This movie explores how our emotions work especially in regards to our CORE MEMORIES and our subconscious thoughts. The movie is such a fascinating depiction of what goes on in our brain!
Core Memories
What I found very interesting is that one of the main characters, ‘Sadness’ was the one that everyone was pushing away all of the time. Let’s do anything to avoid having Sadness get involved with any of the Core Memories!
First, why was there deep emphasis on the Core Memories needing so much protection? The emotions connected to these memories we have attached to the core special events in our life are in control of how we react to future situations.
Sadness
‘Sadness’ really plays an integral part of our life because it allows us to feel, really feel. This emotion just as any other emotion desires to be heard, to be felt fully, and to be released.
The key is to acknowledge it instead of denying the feeling and then move through it. There is a difference between dwelling on what happened and acknowledging it.
Emotional pain is like a storm cloud on a rainy day. It appears scary and ominous at first, but if you stay present and watch, beauty can be found in the darkness as it passes by.
– Cheryl Richardson
It’s almost never what you think it’s about
This week I was in a displeasing situation that was causing me much irritation so I had a healing session to work through it. I found out underneath the irritation was sadness. I was quite surprised because it was not at all what I thought it was about. It almost never is.
By taking the time to explore this, I was able to release some sadness surrounding this and able to gain confidence and strength from it all. And to think that for many people, the thought of expressing sadness or allowing some tears to flow may seem like a sign of weakness! Personally, I had felt this way for decades.
Does ANYONE ever have it all together?
Several years ago I attended a retreat featuring two women that are internationally known authors in the self-development world. I went to the restroom during one of the breaks and witnessed one of them in tears over some personal situation of drama going on in her life.
I remember thinking to myself, “What? I thought she had it all together. She is teaching us all week!”
Thankfully what I have learned since then is that no one is ever completely DONE working on their own self-development and yet they can make a big difference in other people’s lives because of where they are at and accepting others that are doing their best at this moment in time. We all have something to share with one another. Also, I have learned that she was actually ‘walking her talk’.
What about you? Do you find yourself trying to bury any feelings of sadness? Have you seen the movie Inside Out? There are so many lessons in that movie, what were your take-aways? Please share in the comments below.
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
Excellent post Elda. I haven’t seen Inside Out, but I’ll make a point to now.
I’m glad you found release for what was bothering you. And I think that’s key for all emotions. We need to welcome them and allow them to flow through us, without grabbing on to them so they get stuck. I like to think of our emotions as gifts simply showing us our current vibrational state.
With regard to tears, I’ve always loved Isak Dinsen’s reminder: “The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.”
Deborah Weber recently posted…Fear is the Mind-Killer
Oh what wise words you share Deborah! This has been the most important aspect of my ongoing healing journey, was to learn to allow myself to feel my emotions. In the past, I had taught myself to bury my anger and my sadness, and sometimes even my disgust.
It was fun watching the movie with each of those emotions given an animated character and how they affect us and really need to be acknowledged instead of being thought of as ‘bad’.
Never heard that quote before! That’s one I want to remember. Thank you!
Another great post Elda! I’m all about feeling my feelings and sadness is one of them. I am one of those people who can access my tears easily and I feel they are a gift. There is such a release and it is healing to cry. Bring on the tears!
Nancy Jambor recently posted…Attitude of Gratitude
Tears being a gift…. Great concept, Nancy. Thanks!
Great post. I was thinking about going to see that movie myself. I’m glad to hear it is good for adults as well!
Michele Bergh recently posted…Quotography Link Up : Allow it to Expand
You would enjoy analyzing this movie Michele because it’s all about our emotions and how they affect us in every action we take or don’t take. Would love to hear what you think after you see it.
Elda, as someone who spent more than a decade being unable to cry (or even bring tears to my eyes when dust irritated them), I welcome the ability to shed tears these days. Of course, I’ve been ridiculed (mostly by men) for being emotional, but prefer the ability to release over what I was experiencing prior.
I have not seen Inside Out, but will look for it. Sounds like a great production. I appreciate your being so open in this post. Thank you for sharing.
n recently posted…Know anyone too loud to be heard?
What a relief for you now that your emotions can flow freely!
For many years, I had refused to allow myself to ‘go there’ because I wanted to feel strong. Even when I was alone, I didn’t allow myself to cry. Now, I see it as a way to move through what I am feeling and not get ‘stuck’ in it.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank You Elda, for your eloquently expressed wisdom! Your words were a powerful reminder of so many things. I especially appreciated remembering that every person, including the great teachers, are continually working on ‘walking their talk’ to be authentic. I too loved INSIDE OUT…it was brilliant!
Thank you for your kind words Mary.
It is quite refreshing to see great teachers openly admit that they are also a ‘work in progress’. As Deepak Chopra says, (I am paraphrasing here). Each person is doing the best they can with what they know and where they are at presently in their journey.