I Have Had ENOUGH!

Did you tell yourself, “I have had ENOUGH” so that you could ‘move on’ to better mental or physical health?

Have you cut ties with a family member because you felt it was such a toxic relationship?

How is this affecting you NOW in your daily life?

It’s important to think about how we really are feeling about the situation because it is too easy to bury our true feelings in fear of being judged or shamed into guilt for making this decision. The decision to break off a relationship with someone is always something that can only be decided by the people involved. We must decide and do for ourselves – our true selves.

Here are some tips that we can apply to help us through it:

• Write a Love Letter to Yourself

There is a most wonderful video that shares several people from various ages writing a love letter such as this. When writing it, remember to keep it positive because this is a LOVE letter so we want to be ‘gushing’ to our hearts content! (click here to watch the short video)

• Let go of doubt and fear

The doubt and fear come from worry about what others will think and how they will see or talk about us. We demote ourselves whenever we put so much into seeking approval from others for our personal situation. In a way, we would be trading one form of disrespect from a family member into another form from a friend or co-worker.

• Work on building and growing your own community

A community is a group of people with shared interests and common values. By focusing on creating our own community, this will likely bring something really good into our life. It may not be exactly what we were looking for but in actuality end up being the exact thing we happened to need at that time.

• Be kind to yourself

We hear a lot about the importance of being kind to others, but how much emphasis do we put on being kind to ourselves in little and big ways? Kindness is like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it gets. Look at practicing kindness as an exercise that will enhance our life. Take every opportunity to extend kindness to yourself and others.

• Judgment vs. Discernment

Judgment says, “I don’t love you because of how you treat me.” Discernment says, “I love you and choose to set boundaries to limit my exposure to you.” Judgment closes the heart. Discernment allows it to stay wide open but protected with clear boundaries. Promise yourself to only stay close to those who respect your boundaries and treat you with kindness. With boundaries, our heart can remain open to still love them even if they are not a part of our life at this time.

“Discernment is the ultimate form of self- care”

– Dr. Lissa Rankin

• Regrets can be useful

When we feel regret due to feelings of guilt it can move us to make changes. There is an opportunity cost involved for every choice that we make. What is this specific choice costing us?

If you would like to learn how working with me can help you with the emotions you have in connection to your family estrangement please set up a free Skype consultation so we can discuss this.

Which of the above tips do you think will be helpful for when you have come to the point of “I have had enough” of something in your life? Please share your thoughts below.